Watched a film clip of Picasso in his studio fiddling with his sculptures. A co-worker of mine mused "I'd like to live like that, in some sweet spot in France, just dinking around in my studio all day". I couldn't agree more. Who are these people who get to live lives like this? He's just tinkering around, all fat and hairy, with his paper mache donkey. That's all Picasso has to do with his day. One day I hope to be just like Picasso, except not hairy and bald.

Aliza keeps mentioning some desire to move to England. I don't know where this is coming from. Why would she want to live in England? Who wants to live somewhere were it rains all the time. It brings you down. That's why Brits always look so miserable. You'd be miserable too if you had to go to the beach in a sweatshirt and bring along a "windbreaker" to sit behind so you don't freeze to death. Then you have to pay 6 dollars a gallon for gas for your dinky little car that will get you back to your dinky little house along some tiny narrow roads. Who needs that?

Nothing exciting to report. Couldn't work last night, everything was coming up crap. So I watched a bunch of HBO On Demand "Sex and the City", which is a funny show and hung with Aliza.

Tried to convince Aliza that we should just go to Las Vegas for a long weekend and get married. We could blow a ton of money doing it, and still come out ahead from where we're gonna be. But, I realize it's too late for that now anyway. Some people are already booked, and I only just sent out my little cards to my groomsmen and best man asking them to do the honors. If we backed out now they'd all be so let down.

Aliza is not sure what songs to ask Collider to cover for us. I am pretty sure I'm going with "Funny How Love Is" by Queen. She is not so certain. I like "Crazy on You" by Heart, but I think she was just kidding when she suggested it. I also enjoy the song "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You" also by Heart, but that's my own issue and has nothing to do with the wedding...

If fact, I am going to go listen to my MP3 of that right now, and then after that "Freebird".

First off: My archives now work. This makes me feel good, and less hopeless.

The insides of Gabagool #4 are now done. I worked like a fiend all weekend to get it finished. I am determined that we'll get this thing printed up properly. Now all that is left to do is the cover. Radtke and I are both undecided on whether or not we want to go with our first idea for a cover, which was to make it like an homage to an issue of the Fantastic Four with the Watcher's first appearance. We think it's a funny cover, but are unsure if we want our first properly printed comic to have a swiped image on the front. I dunno, we will discuss this more later.

My plan is to wrap this issue and get it sent out to the printers by the end of the week, or early next week.

Printing it makes so much sense on many levels, I am annoyed that we never did it before. If my quotes are right, we can print 2000 copies for under 1000 bucks. It is totally reasonable to sell them for 3 bucks. The math there works out to be that we'd make about 5000 bucks profit. However, we all know that they won't all get sold, or at least won't be sold for full price, but even then we can recoup all our money and earn a little more. I am very excited.

Today is awful. I have nothing to do at work, and the time is dragging by. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't X-Men tonight. Agh, I wish it was 9:30 already... I wanna watch X-Men!

I know, I know, I'm behaving insufferably, but it can't be helped. I was just very much into the X-Men comics as a kid, and I hear that this movie is supposed to be great, and the anticipation is killing me.

Ok, I gotta focus on something else. What else is going on? Well, it is going to cost a lot of money to print up Gabagool! #4 the way I want it. So much that I am re-thinking my original concept of what I wanted and downgrading the product a bit. At the moment, instead of having it printed on nice paper with a un-glossy card stock cover, I think I am goign to end up with a comic printed entirely on glossy paper, including the cover, which will be the same stock as the interior. Hopefully this will make it affordable. Chris is concerned, I don't blame him, because not only do we have to pay for this, but we have to pay for issue 5 too in a few months. And then #6 and then so on, unless of course things go according to plan and some publisher realizes that Gabagool! is a cash-cow just waiting to be discovered and the series is picked up.

My major dilemma now is that I have gotten so excited about printing the comic, I don't see any way I can be talked into going back to the crummy ass Kinkos way of doing it.

Anyway, if I don't finish the comic soon this won't be an issue, because I won't be able to get it printed in time for MOCCA anyway...

So, this weekend I am going to work my ass off and get a lot of this stuff done. Aliza is going to Jersey tomorrow to see her parents and look at florists, and then on Sunday she is looking at bridemaids dresses, so that means more time for me to work. I have to do 2 and a half pages, the cover and the inside front cover. I hope to have almost all of it done by monday morning, but that won't happen.

I'll update on monday and we'll see how I did. I will have seen X-Men by then, so at the very least I will be a bit more coherent and focused...

Bought a couple comics last night at the comic store, including Robert Ullman's "Grand Gestures", a new issue of "The Nimrod", and Robert Crumb's "Art and Beauty magazine" #2. The R. Crumb was my favorite by far, just 'cos the drawings are so amazing. That goes to show you what a lifetime of honing your craft can get you, some seriously nice looking drawings. I eagerly await the time when I'm an old man and can draw so good.Sadly, none of the comics lasted me until this morning, so I had nothing to read on my subway ride to work.

Still have a ways to go on the Gabagool! #3 coloring for moderntales, but I am confident it'll get done. They need it by early June, so that gives me all of May, and I only have to do 12 more pages. For a sneak peak at what this stuff is coming out like, click here.

Tomorrow is the X2 premeire. Ridiculously, we had to buy our tickets on monday to go see this movie tomorrow. It is going to be a mad-house at the movie theater, I am not looking forward to it. There are a bunch of people going who I know, but I am planning on meeting up with them after the film. I can't be bothered with trying to wrangle a row of seats for twenty people so we can all sit together. Who gives a shit? I'm not planning on talking to any of them in the movie. All's I'm concerned about is getting a reasonable seat for myself, the rest can fend for themselves. Sadly, my eagerness to see this movie has caused me to read a considerable number of reviews, and now I think there is probably very little left in the movie that I don't already know about...

Good gabagool! review today here. Gabagool! is a joy to read, a JOY.

Chris wasn't too happy about not being mentioned in the review. I don't blame him. I would flip a lid if my name got left out. In fact, when someone wrote to me to tell me they enjoyed Chris's artwork, that's exactly what I did. Well, "flip out" is too strong a word, I just made a point of correcting them when I replied to thank them for their kind words.

Couple of links:

Got a good review yesterday from Rich Watson of A View From the Cheap Seats for my mini comic Cabaret Comix #2. You can find it on this page. (It's the only one that scored an "A". I rule)

Aliza started a blog too. It can be read here. I think her's and mine will just go swimmingly together since we will probably both be talking a lot about our upcoming nuptials.

For instance, tonight we will be continuing our quest to be registered. I think we will be hitting flatwares and dinnerwares and stuff like that. Sure to be thrilling!

On thursday we meet up with the guys who're going to play at the reception. we need to figure out which songs we want them to learn. One that occured to me yesterday was "Funny How Love Is" by Queen. It's a nice little jam, and it's by Queen who rule. It's a win-win.

We had friends over on friday night to play games (a game called "Apples to Apples" and then a round of Trivial Pursuit in which Aliza and I were creamed...), and then on saturday out to Chris's house in brooklyn for another little soire. I ate tostitos for dinner both nights. All the chips have mashed up in my colon and become this immovable mass. I can eat nothing but Broccoli for the rest of the week if I ever wanna get regular again...

But seriously, Chris's girlfriend Vania makes the best dip for chips ever. Seriously, no joke. The best. That is probably why I ate seventeen economy sized bags of Tostitos...

Yesterday was nice. Once we got out of bed we began the joyous task of registering. We walked over to this gigantic Crate and Barrel over on broadway and Houston. On the way we found ourselves walking behind an "ex" of Aliza's, who was also going into Crate and Barrel. So we had to duck out of sight and go to H&M to look at T-shirts for a bit until we thought it safe to go back to Crate and Barrel. Childish, I know, but really I got no need to be making awkward chit-chat with some doof that Aliza used to date. Plus, he was like 8 feet taller than me, so that makes it even worse. But he had dumb hair and wore a motorcycle jacket, which makes him uncool, so that part was okay.

After we registered (we did well with baking stuff, but lousy with everything else) we went and bought something to grow in the flowerpot that used to house the plant that Aliza recently killed (Some friends of hers refer to her as "scorched earth" after a plant sitting mishap from a few years back). Then we went and had a late lunch at some Italian place near our apartment with all these wide open breezy windows. It was so beautiful and sunny out, and the food was good, and we'd accomplished one of the ka-jillion tasks we still have to do for this wedding, so I felt really really good. If I didn't have a concrete ball of corn chips sitting in my gut it would have been perfect.

Went home, hung out, wrote some cards to my groomspeople, and drew Gabagool pages while listening to Joe Frank on NPR. I don't know why I like listening to his show. Usually it is nothing but whiny self-centered people telling whiny self-centered stories about themselves, but for some reason I find it to be fascinating. Aliza hates it. It is like her sunday night torture, as I listen to it in the bedroom late at night while she tries to sleep.

These frickin' archives aren't working yet. I dunno how to fix this shit...

Don't worry though, I didn't say anything interesting in any of the posts that aren't shown on this page. This page is the A-list stuff...

Okay, so I've got a little under three weeks to draw roughly seven pages, and do the cover for Gabagool! 4. I think I can do it, I average about a page every two days or so, but I wish I didn't feel rushed. I want it to be pretty flawless, since I'm gonna go to the bother of printing it for real. Ah, what can you do though? The deadline is a good thing. I told Aliza that she needs to let me work hard of the comic for the next couple of weeks, and then after that I'll be all hers for getting the wedding in order.

So far: We have decided on a DJ, and said we want to use her. No contract done yet.

We booked the photgrapher. She seems pretty cool, and she's tall, so that will hopefully mean we'll get some nice shots where you can see a lot of people. There are a few shorties on my side of the family, and Aliza's side doesn't run too tall either, so it should work out.

We have a caterer. We like their stuff. They do a lot of cool hors d'ourves, which is all we're having. My favorite is this little proscuitto wrap with arugula, some kind of cheese, and raspberry jam. I know, I know, sounds a little odd, but the combination is delish.

Aside from that we are scrambling. We still got some time, but it just sounds like there's so much left that needs doing. I swear, all's I wanna do is say "I do" (actually, it's "I will" apparently) and dance my first dance song, and get me to Mexico.

Some talk last night with some friends about bachelor parties. I have mixed feelings. I think a night or a weekend with my boys will be a blast, as long as I can get good and fucked up. Not sure about strippers though. I dunno about being the center of attention at any kind of place of ill repute. I tried to explain last night that the part about strip clubs that I don't like is when they come over and solicit you. I don't mind when they're up on stage being all nudie, but I've never been able to get over the part where I know that the only reason they talk to me is 'cos they want my money. They are like hot sexy bums, asking me for a dollar, and letting me slip it in their crack as a treat to me. I have to get over this, I know, and be a real man. 'Cos in all honesty, most strips clubs that I've been to, well I've probably been one of the most attractive guys in there. The Strippers Bums are probably happy to come sit on me for a change, rather than the Herbs who normally hang out at those places hollerin' and yellin' and being way less cool and "with it" than I am...

Just got off the phone with another nominee from last years Ignatz's awards. He works at a printing company, and hopefully I'll be working with him to print up Gabagool! #4. He seems like a real nice guy, and I think his books are really nicely done. As we were wrapping up our conversation about printing quotes and whatnots I had to give him my address. When I said St. Mark's Place he made a comment about it being a cool place to live. I over-excitedly blurted out "Yeah and I live opposite the Led Zeppelin Physical Graffiti building!" and he was suitiably impressed. I felt like a dork immediately afterwards though. You lose all your street cred when you wet yourself with excitement anytime someone says, "oh so you live in such and such a hip neighborhood, huh?" What can I do though? I think the only good thing you get out of spending all that money to live somewhere cool is having other people take note of it and somehow thinking that you are more worth knowing...

If anybody wants to read the short Gabagool! story we put together to submit to the SPX anthology, click here. I sure do hope it gets in. I think it's a solid piece of work, but I dunno if they'll be put off by the raunchy nature of it. If it is put into the anthology that will technically be one of my first published credits (not counting all them years spent doing the daily strip for the rutgers college paper) so that'll feel good, in a way.

Am getting a bit stressed about getting Gabagool! #3 colored so's it can appear on moderntale's longplay section. I need to find out what my due date is, 'cos so far it's only half colored (not even). The last couple weeks have been sloooooow at work, so I've had plenty of time to color, but the last couple of days I've been getting stuff to do again. Sucks. I like it better when I'm left alone.

Tonight is comic book night with Alex Robinson. We meet up every wednesday to buy comics (actually, we rarely buy anything, not a lot comes out) and then get dinner and bitch and gossip like a couple of hens. It's great fun.

Went down to Jersey for Easter on Saturday. We rented a car, which is a treat for us. It's expensive, but it gets to be a drag having to schlep down on the trains, and it was nice out, so a drive was in order. I took Aliza to the woods that my family traditionally went to for family walks on weekends. We took a nice hike for a couple of miles, and as is also traditional in the Dawson family walk through Hartshorn woods, we discussed religion in our lives.

So far I haven't had any trouble with the prospect of having all this Judaism come into my life. I like being connected to what I percieve as something with a long complex and respectable history. My family wasn't "Church of England" technically, but there are aspects of COE in my upbringing for sure. And that's a religion that's so relaxed and hands off, there just doesn't seem like there's much point in it. It's just so "limp"... Now, Judaism, there's a religion that makes you do stuff and observe things, and feel obligated, and all the good things a religion ought to make you do.

A lot of what we talked about was about how we're going to administer our religious views to our eventual offspring. I am determined to make them partake in all the rituals to the fullest extent. My thinking being that if I am asked to have a Passover Seder, as a non-Jew, then we are going to damn well have a proper Passover Seder, and those kids are going to sit through it! None of this getting bored and fidgety and gettign up from the table and goofing off while the adults slog their way through the Seder that has been designed to entertain the kids. No, in my house we are going to do an adult seder everytime and the kids will sit quietly and respectfully. I want it to be the kind of thing Aliza describes when she was little, where her grandpa shouted at her and her brother a lot to be quiet and pay attention.

Another thing that happened on the walk was that other people who were out jogging and cycling around the mountain kept greeting us with cheerful "hellos" and "good mornings". You don't get that so much in the city. Aliza seemed genuinely taken aback, and even annoyed the first few times it happened. Well, she is more determined to cast off her suburban roots than I am, so maybe that's why she reacted negatively. I didn't mind it. It was nice to feel sunny and friendly, and not have to walk around with a scowl on all the time as I try to plow through the sea of bums and punk rock teenagers on my block as I try to get to my apartment...

Last night I met up an old friend and his wife. I brought Aliza out and we discussed weddings and stuff like that. It was nice, but I drank too much, and stumbled home and fell promptly asleep at 11:30. I don't like when that happens, 'cos usually I use the hours between 11 and 1 to get some drawing done. I like working late at night like that, with the radio on, and Aliza sleeping a few feet away. So, I was slightly annoyed that last night's wee hours weren't put to use. But I'm not really that bothered. If I was then I'd be some sort of mini-comic maniac, who wasn't interested in anything else in life, and I don't think I wanna be that guy.

I've been thinking about it a bit recently. To "make it" in cartooning, I feel I really have to apply myself, and produce as much quality work as I can at the moment. I like to come out with new books every few months to feel like I'm gaining momentum. But what is "making it" really? It might be some critical respect, which I would like, and it might be a steady publisher, which I would also like, but it's never really going to be something I can make any serious cash doing. It'll never really let me quit my "day job". So it's no good for me to push everything except cartooning out of my life with the hopes of one day it paying off and me living off my funnies. So I have to make sure that I don't short-change the other things in my life, like my real job, my family and friends, and of course Aliza. But I don't want to pull back on cartooning either, so I have to try and work hard at both things all the time.

Wedding planning is going "okay. We got a quote from the caterer which was eight dollars more per-person than we'd originally been quoted. That may not sound like much, but it's an extra thousand bucks or so. So I was annoyed about that. I decided "fuck getting some New York caterers to come out to cater our wedding in new Jersey" and started looking around for NJ Caterers to come do our reception. But that didn't last long... I didn't really try that hard, but the two or three places I found on the web all just seemed like cheeseball places, and really didn't cost all that much less. So, I quit my search and went back to coloring my comic while I was supposed to be working. See? Balance!

In other wedding news: The honeymoon is booked and paid for. I like that we took care of that before taking care of the wedding. Somehow I think taking care of the honeymoon as a priority shows that we are more concerned about what happens the day after we get married, than the day we do it.

I am a page and a half away from finishing chapter one of the big "Gabagool! Summer Special (caution parents advisory)". The plan is to finally bite the bullet and print it like a real comic. I dunno if it'll work out or not, I never seem to get around to actually printing these things, but this time I'm serious. I swear.

Chris Radtke and I went out last night to try and write. Had a serious case of writer's block though. That's fine, sometimes it's nice to just sit and drink and shoot the shit and not have to dutifully transcribe everything said into our notebook. Chris hurt his neck the other day looking at a cute girl who walked by. That's funny. It's also indicative of what time of year it is. Yep', it's getting warm out, and in New York that means all the hottest girls in the world emerge from hibernation. The most wonderful time of the year...

There have been budget cut-backs in the city. I wonder if this means that New York is going to return to the state of decay that it was in when my family first moved to America in 1986. I recall coming up to the city for a visit and being convinced that we were going to be shot and mugged and left for dead in the streets. It definitely didn't feel like that in the late 90's though. I used to think that this city was like a theme park, there was so much fun and money going around. It all seems to have gone to shit since then. But I know it can get a whole lot worse.

I have talked to a few people about this whole smoking ban they've got going on. It turns out that I personally really don't care one way or the other if they ban smoking. Except for the murder that happened in my neighborhood over it. That was a bit extreme. But I think the ban is good for young guys looking to meet girls. 'Cos now all the smokers have to gather outside for their cigarettes, which gives a guy an opportinity to get to chatting with the ladies in a casual setting. Plus: they've got tons to talk about, such as how much the smoking ban sucks. I saw packs of people out on the street doing this the other night. Seems like a windfall for the lonely men of the world.

Okay, I think I got this figured out now, so I can start making real posts:

...

Decided to start up my little web diary. But this time with a real blog engine thing. I dunno what the advantages are of doing it this way, except now I don't have to write new html all the time when I wanna make a remark.